If you are pregnant or easily queasy, don't read this. Seriously. You have been warned!

Ugh. This goes down as one of the grossest things I have ever experienced. And I have given birth 3 times ( c-sections included)  and cleaned up my fair share of vomit and other such bodily fluids. I know, you envy the glamour in my life. But wait - this story tops all.

It is worse than the time I went camping with my husband, then fiance, and awoke with a huge slimy slug on my face. Oh yes, that is mere comedy in comparison to tonight's grossology, which still has my stomach flipping about.

Tonight's story stars my Jack Russell Terrier who thought she hit the jackpot when she nosed around the garbage and found a hunk of leftover salmon wrapped in foil. Before we could get to her, she did that quick head bob that dogs do as they are wolfing something down. I don't even know if she tasted it, she swallowed it so fast.

Cut to a half hour later, when my 6 and 4 year old announced that there was something upstairs in the playroom that probably wasn't going to make me too happy.

As I climbed the stairs I thought I'd see some marker on the wall or  toys scattered everywhere as if a bomb went off. You know, the usual. Instead I saw a mini mountain of doggy vomit...definitely slimy and full of salmon. Gross. But I cleaned it up.

No sooner did I dispose of that mess and apply the carpet cleaner, when my 6 year old discovered another slimy pile on our couch. Lovely. So I cleaned that up too. This pile seemed slimier than the last. YUCK.

Dear Reader, if you are still with me, you must have guts of steel. So I know you can handle this last part. If you are feeling queasy, I would not blame you for turning back and heading off  to visit the Cuteologist Group here on Vox.

The third, and hopefully last pile of doggy vomit I discovered, was on our oversized chair in our office. It was indeed the slimiest of all. My poor lil' doggy. By now, my stomach was seriously starting to turn. Luckily, we have a slipcover on that chair, so I new I would be using the "sanitize" option on our washing machine tonight.

It was really hard to wipe off, it was that slimy. Then I saw something that was like a chunk of slime. I couldn't help myself...curiosity got the better of me. I took a closer look  and discovered it was a SLUG!!!! Totally intact...it must have been swallowed down in one gulp, just like the salmon. Well, come to think of it, slugs are probably pretty difficult to chew. Ew.

Is that not the grossest thing ever?!!!!  My stomach is still rocking. I can't imagine how my poor dog feels...hopefully better.